Theoretical physics. Rubik’s cubes. Where exactly “the Cloud” is. Whether Cobb’s totem stopped spinning or no at the end of the movie “Inception” featuring Jason Gordon-Levitz (“Snowden,” “Third Rock from the Sun”) and Leonardo DiCaprio (“What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?,” pretty much every Martin Scorsese movie ever made) and also the movie’s entire not-so-basic plot, too.
These are things that I don’t quite understand.
The other thing that I don’t quite understand is a two part struggle, consisting of: A) How did “Back to the Future II” almost predict when the Chicago Cubs would make the World Series for the first time since 1945 and, B) if BTTF’s future was 2015 and it’s 2016, does that mean that the future is now taking place in the past or so what’s the deal?
Just like it did when I was trying to figure out whether now it was a dream within a dream or a dream within a dream within another dream and then also whose dream inside whose dream that it was, my head hurts.
But all Christopher Nolan logic aside, I may have still stumbled onto a bit of a conspiracy theory when it comes to other movies with alternate realties/timelines, and the further down the rabbit hole it goes, the more obvious it is that the writers of “Back to the Future” know something that we don’t. Either that or they’re like, actually from the future or wizards or something.
Either way though, let’s take a look at the facts (don’t worry, where we’re going we don’t need roads)…
Fact 1. BTTF predicts Cubs World Series in 2015
I actually get the thinking behind this. It’s 1985, and as a writer on the BTTF team you’re trying to come up with a ridiculous scenario for 30-years into the future.
Considering that the Cubbies hadn’t been to a series since 1945 at the time or won one since 1908, a quick scene where Michael J. Fox picks up a paper to see this streak snapped does the trick.
But how could BTTF writers Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale have made such a bold prediction and then also pretty much nailed it when the future actually became the present and then later, the past?
The only logical solution is that Zemeckis and Gale actually owned a DeLorean and traveled to, let’s say, like, 2020 or something, saw the future, grabbed a Grays Sports Almanac, took some notes, and headed back to 1985 to profit off of one of the most successful movie trilogies of all time.
Of course like any good writer writing from experience, they switched up a few details to avoid suspicion, like making their World Series prediction for 2016 instead of 2015 and swapping out the opponent. Zemeckis, I like the cut of your jib. But also, I’m wise to you…
Fact 2. 1985
This is where it gets kind of even somehow weirder (consider us entering “Level 3,” dream-within-a-dream/“Inception”-wise).
As far as Marty McFly and Doc Brown are concerned, 1985 is the present. But in terms of the whole Chicago Cubs conspiracy thing, it turns out that 1985 could be more than just an arbitrary year.
Considering that I’m writing this on Wednesday, Nov. 2, 2016 (not a relevant date on BTTF timeline), and also since unlike Zemeckis and the other guy, I don’t know how to travel through time, I don’t yet know whether or not the Cubs will actually win the World Series tonight and give this theory some water to hold onto.
But in watching Game 6 last night, I heard one of the announcers say something that raised some more false flags. Prior to last night’s win, the Cubs needed to come back from a 3-2 deficit and win the final two games to take the series.
The last team to pull that off was the Kansas City Royals in guess what year? 1985 (a very relevant date on the BTTF timeline).
Fact 3. Hoverboards (also, 2015)
Hold on to your haircut Biff, because the whole 1985/2015 correlation thing is about to get even somehow even more weirder (probably comparable to “Level 4,” dream-within-a-dream-wise, where they’re all wearing snowsuits and shooting at each other while Jason Gordon-Levitz is like floating all around the hotel the next dream-level up and the rich foreign guy is doing his own personal best to keep his own personal map from getting eliminated after that gun shot way back on like, Level 1).
I get it, Zemeckis, what’s more futuristic than Cubs’ World Series is a flying skateboard, right?
It’d be one thing if they invented the hoverboard in let’s say like, 2006 or something. Or even 2012. 2013 even.
But get this: while there were a bunch of actual attempts to invent an actual floating board, Canadian inventor Catalin Alexandru Duru set a world record for furthest hoverboard travel and Lexus released their real-functioning hoverboard called “the Slide” in guess what year?
If you guessed 2015, you win.
Fact 4. Self-lacing Nike’s
Another reason I suspect that “Back to the Future” was an inside job is that Marty McFly pops on a pair of pretty sweet self-lacing Nike’s when he gets to 2015.
An irrelevant detail? Maybe not…
Incidentally, 2015 was also the same year that Indian River High School Athletic Director Todd Fuhrmann hooked me up with a pretty sweet pair of green Nike’s that, get this, don't require laces.
(Whether Todd is from the future/in on the conspiracy TBD).
Fact 5. “Jaws 19”
Proving that BTTF Executive Producer Steven Spielberg is also in on “It,” is the movie playing at the Hill Valley Hollomax when Marty gets to 2015 entitled, “Jaws 19.”
While there haven’t actually been 19 “Jaws” movies made, like BTTF, there were three of them. There were also a lot of killer-shark inspired copycats — 16 of them by my count, to be exact.
The list includes: “Jaws 2” (1979), “Jaws 3” (1983), “Jaws The Revenge” (1987), “Deep Blue Sea” (1999), “Open Water” (2003), “Megashark vs. Giant Octopus” (2009), “Dinoshark” (2010), “Snow Shark” (2011), “Swamp Shark” (2011), “Super Shark” (2011), “Jurassic Shark” (2012) “Jersey Shore Shark Attack” (2012), “Ghost Shark” (2013), “Sharknado” (2013), “Sharknado 2: The Second One” (2014), “Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!” (2015), and of course, “Finding Nemo” (2003).
If you actually read through that list you’ve probably come to the conclusion that Hollywood pretty much gave up, shark-wise, around 2009. If you actually counted that list, you’ve probably come to the conclusion that only 18 sharks movies are listed.
Like the writers of Inception, that was done specifically for dramatic effect, so that I can now reveal that “The Shallows” starring Blake Lively (“The Sisterhood of the Traveling Ya-Ya Pants,” “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Ya-Ya Pants 2”) premiered in summer 2016, A.K.A., you guessed it, “Jaws 19.”
Like the Cubs’ pending World Series victory, this was obviously predicted one-year off actually occurring to avoid time-travel suspicion from BTTF conspiracy theorists like myself. Either that or shooting was delayed a year while Lively considered taking a role in “Sharknado 4: We’re Not Even Trying Anymore!” instead.
While I could go on all day about how BTTF sort of also predicted video phones (Face Time), sleep-inducers (Xanax), Electrorejuvenation Treatments (the Khardashians) and even Biff using his casino fortunes to run for political power (Trump), I won’t know for sure until the Cubs win the series tonight or no.
If only I had I had a Grays Sports Almanac like Marty McFly. Or a time-traveling DeLorean like Steven Spielberg and Robert Zemeckis.
Go Cubs.