Before you say anything about how “Pro Bore” when referring to the Pro Bowl isn’t my best work when it comes to wordplay — cut me some slack, I just got over the flu.
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I spent most of last week trying to get back into fighting shape and looking for some of my lost creativity, and clearly I’m not quite there yet. I also spent a lot of the last week watching four seasons of “Mad Men” on Netflix — which was terribly boring and made having the flu just that much worse.
But as I adjust back to the real world and come closer and closer to the realization that I’m not a 1960s advertising executive on Madison Avenue and that drinking scotch during the day at work isn’t acceptable behavior in 21st century Sussex County, I realize that I’m back in action just in time for this Sunday’s NFL Pro Bowl... which will probably be equally as boring as one of Don Draper’s Season 3 narratives.
It’s the same thing every year. All offense, no defense, and really, no reason to watch — unless you find Deon Sanders’ uniform designs entertaining (I don’t). It’s not even real football, because no one wants to tear an ACL in a game that doesn’t even matter — not that anyone wants to tear an ACL in games that do matter either, but you get my point.
And it’s only gotten worse since the NFL abandoned the AFC vs. NFC format for an “unconferenced” one, which was designed to make the game more “fan-friendly” but in actuality that may have been the only thing keeping the game remotely competitive. All quotation marks aside, you can consider me at least one fan that the strategy had the opposite effect on. It’s even harder to call the game an “All-Star” game when some of the league’s best players, like Peyton Manning, don’t even bother to show up.
While I’d like to sit here and say that they should just do away with the whole thing, it’s probably never gonna happen. I can see the merit for some of the players — especially the younger ones. It’s a free vacation for their family, a chance to unwind from the season and catch up with friends from around the league and, of course, they get one of those great looking Deon Sanders-designed jerseys for free.
The NFL, of course, benefits, as well. It’s yet another revenue stream for the seemingly limitless product that they put out, and usually it’s a chance to strengthen their fan base in a state that doesn’t get to host many pro games (this year being an exception).
But for fans like me, it’s become an insult to the 20 weeks of competitive football I watch during the regular season and in the playoffs. For others, I guess it’s something to do on the Sunday between the AFC and NFC championships and the Super Bowl.
My friend Stu summed it up pretty well last Sunday when we were talking about how we weren’t even going to watch. Well, actually, I was talking about how I wasn’t going to watch and Stu said that the only reason he was going to watch was so he didn’t feel bad about drinking beer all day on Sunday — which is almost a strong enough argument to call the entire “the Pro Bowl is pointless” thing into question.
So, whether you’re watching or not watching next Sunday, or you’re just drinking beer with the game on in the background so you feel better about it, bet the over. I’ll probably be watching the series finale of “Mad Men” to see if Draper finally landed the Chevy account that they’ve been their only plot point for the past two seasons. Cheers!
