When it comes to music collections, I’m too young and I’m also too old.
Unfortunately, my generation long missed eight-tracks and record players, but even more unfortunately, iPods and MP3 players were invented before our musical tastes had developed enough to put together any kind of formidable CD collection.
What we were left with was a bunch of scratched-up CD mixes that we burned on our friend Matt’s sister’s laptop because she’s back from college and just got a new Gateway, which eventually turned into first-generation iPods loaded with thousands of songs we’d never possibly be able to listen to and stole from Napster anyway.
But despite Will Smith’s “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It” headlining “Tripp’s Summer JamZ Mix 3.0,” even those Sharpie-marked gems became obsolete around the same time iPhones hit the mainstream, but none of us had time to figure out how to put music on them anymore, because we all had jobs now and still hadn’t installed the latest software update.
It’s a situation that even more unfortunately led to the car radio being my only viable option, which is what the late Jim Morrison claimed plays the same songs over and over, thus controlling what music we like, because people are programmed to like the songs that they hear the most.
But whether the Lizard King was right or wrong, his rationale is my excuse for accidentally liking that new Justin Bieber song I kept turning off but eventually left on one day when Siri was being particularly difficult and got me lost on my way back from Sussex Central, somehow.
While I’m certainly not rushing off to Sam Goody to buy the whole CD (mostly because I don’t think Sam Goody is still in business, but also because I’m sure the rest of the album is just terrible), it did kind of make me wonder what other things have grown on me after being subjected to them against my will for prolonged periods of time. So in a very scientific examination, here are a few things that I originally hated until I didn’t…
1. My little brother.
I had all the Legos to myself before that little jerk came along and started eating them. However, despite making several impassioned speeches to my parents about the monetary benefits of placing him up for adoption (we could save thousands), it turns out that he started coming in pretty handy when my lacrosse team needed him to move up an age group so that we could win the Lax Splash tournament and my backyard football team needed a wide receiver because my friend Matt’s sister was back from college and had just gotten a new Gateway.
2. Any Taylor Swift song.
If you’re like me, your favorite band after the Doors and the Rolling Stones is Taylor Swift. But further strengthening former Doors’ frontman and music legend Jim Morrison’s case that we like what we’re used to is how every time I hear Swift’s new jam on the three different stations I’ve just flipped through, I hate it before I like it.
And just like that cop that selfie’d himself lip-synching “Shake it Off” and put it on YouTube, I’m man enough to admit that, eventually, I’m always down with some Tay.
3. Beer.
When I was around 8 or 9 and hunting with my cousins and my little brother out in Chestertown, my dad gave me the backwash of his Coors Light to try just after I had made an impassioned speech about the monetary benefits of leaving my little brother in the woods (we could save millions).
So like any 8-year-old would do, I stopped pumping the already dead ducks that our dog Snickers had fetched full of BBs and gave it a swig before immediately spitting it back out and handing the rest to my little brother, who was completely oblivious to not only how bad it would taste but to the fact that he would be left in the woods later that day. Needless to say, I would go on to rather enjoy beer as the years went on and I stopped wetting the bed, but to this day I still won’t drink Coors Light (unless it’s free).
4. My friend Matt.
I didn’t like Matt when he first showed up at St. James Academy in the sixth grade. Not only did he tell everyone that he was a better lacrosse player than I was, and not only did he get a girlfriend before I did, but he didn’t even like “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It.”
Then, in math class one day, the principal announced over the loud speaker that Matt would be riding home with me after school that afternoon. I, of course, protested by making an impassioned speech about the benefits of hitchhiking (mostly citing rising gas prices due to rising tensions in the Middle East), but ultimately it proved ineffective and we carpooled together all the way until I got my driver’s license, when I voluntarily used to drive us both to the premiere of “I, Robot” (the new Will Smith movie).
5. Adam Sandler.
There’s really just no other possible explanation for why people like Adam Sandler.
So there you have it. Is it scientific? Of course not. I failed chemistry three times in college — which, ironically, I did not grow to enjoy, despite the fact that I went to at least every other Tuesday class.
But really I don’t think we need an exact science to see that when it comes to liking that new Justin Bieber song, unless your friend Matt’s sister is back from college or you happen to stumble upon a Sam Goody, none of us really have much of a choice.